• Couples Counselling

Counselling for Lesbian & Gay Couples.

Lesbian, Gay, Bi and Trans couple relationships can sometimes suffer strain, conflict, arguments, acting-out and abuse.

Such behaviour can risk a break-up… perhaps sometimes later leading to reconciliation only to break-up again later,

But this isn’t just any generic relationship we’re talking about… it’s yours… and sometimes you and your partner may benefit from some skilled assistance with a counsellor who specialises in your kind of relationship.

Meeting with a LGBT Couple Counsellor at Shankara

Who specialise with families where children are also involved from previously heterosexual parents.

learn to discover and understand what may really be going on underneath relationship behaviour & conflicts.

learn to take creative and considered steps to unravel problems.

learn to consider different ways to respond, snuffing out future/new conflicts as they begin.

As a lesbian, gay or mixed-orientation couple, you’ll learn ways of becoming curious about your relationship’s behaviour.

This can become a powerful and useful tool for the both of you. Techniques that can continue to help you both long after you’ve ended couple counselling.

Co-dependency Counselling

The way I would describe co-dependency is that it is a way of behaving and relating to others which is borne out of circumstances experienced in the co-dependent person’s environment.

Many people who go on to develop co-dependent traits have been brought up in an environment where there is addiction present and so these traits have developed as a result of them living with someone suffering from an addiction.

Also, some people who develop co-dependent traits have had the experience of growing up in a family environment where open expression of feelings was not encouraged or allowed. So each person who develops co-dependent traits will all have had slightly different experiences but there will be some common themes present.

Some common characteristics are as follows:-

Caretaking – Many co-dependents may feel responsible for others and feel compelled to help others, often neglecting their own needs in the process.

Low self-worth – Many co-dependents may have a low self-esteem and continually look to others for approval and validation to help them to feel better about themselves.

Repression – Many co-dependents have developed the habit of suppressing their genuine feelings through fear of how others may react.

Obsession – Many co-dependents have a tendency towards anxiety and worry, either worrying about their own lives or future and/or worrying about others.

Controlling – Many co-dependents feel the need to be in control in their lives as they have a fear of what may happen if they lose control.

Denial – Many co-dependents can be in denial of the reality of their situation in that they may not be able to acknowledge or recognise any dysfunction occurring within or around them.

Dependency – Many co-dependents can feel dependent on others or external situations for their feelings of happiness rather than feeling content within themselves.

Poor communication – Many co-dependents may have difficulty expressing their genuine feelings to others, often through fear of how they may react.

Weak boundaries – Many co-dependents have a high tolerance for inappropriate behaviour and find it difficult to be assertive and say no to others.

Lack of trust – Many co-dependents have difficulty trusting themselves and their feelings and trusting others.

Anger – Many co-dependents feel afraid of expressing their anger and repress their angry feelings.

I consider the first step to be to identify what co-dependent characteristics the client may have which are causing them distress and upset in their lives and having a negative impact. Once the client is aware of their behaviours or patterns which are not working for them, we can then develop new strategies and ways of behaving and relating to others which will have a more positive impact on the clients’ lives and those around them.